This has not been a good winter. The weather here has been non stop cold and tempestuous. For the first time in memory I am so ready for spring. And my emotional and mental state ought to be quite fragile. My whole world has been assaulted from every front. And yet I am holding up well. Too well I’d say.
Despite all the sadness to come my way recently, there have been no tears. None. Barely a fight to even stop any welling. I am serene almost. And I’m no Buddhist. And I don’t sleep. This is not my way. Perhaps it was the preparation. Or past history. Somehow I have buried all the wrenching raw feelings I should have in some far away locked-down recess of my mind. Apparently not even I have the key. Personal sorrow earlier I took in stride. Like it was an everyday occurrence.
The day my plane should have left, it barely registered on me. It was just not going to happen. That’s just how it is, and let’s move on.
All this raw emotion is buried deep in personal bedrock like waste radioactive nuclear fuel. I wonder what its half life is?