But because of our busy worlds, a rescheduling is likely weeks away. I so wanted this.
I had a very graphic and sexy dream about Bella the other night. It seemed so real. When I woke up in the morning, the intensity of it startled me.
Bella and I were at one of our exotic locales. We came into the bedroom after an evening of pleasant wine drinking. Bella does love her red wine. After we got naked, she stretched out on the bed. I knew what she was wanting. I reached into the top drawer of the small bedside table and pulled out the silk scarves we had stashed there.
As we both smiled, I tied each of her outstretched limbs to the corners of the bed. (This had, of course, to be a dream, because Bella is only 5′ 3″, so there is no way her limbs would stretch that far … but I digress)
Once she was tied down I kneeled beside her and ogled her lithe, firm body. It must have been summer, because she was lightly tanned, golden in all the right areas, and white in all the wrong places. I softly ran my fingers along the length of her figure and felt her quiver under my touch. Her pert tits pointed straight up and the her long nipples looked to be very hard.
I leaned over and caressed the closer nipple. Then I softly took it into my mouth and gently sucked. And licked. And sucked some more. I heard a soft moan escape Bella’s lips. She does love me paying attention to her nipples.
I moved down and began gently kissing. First her ribcage and then down and over to her navel. My mouth inched down and brushed the soft curls of the top of her landing strip. Then my tongue eased into her slit and slowly pushed along the valley of her sex. She let out a soft whimper. As my pressure and speed increased, so did the sounds from her sweet lips. Licking and swirling my tongue as the tension in her legs heighened. Not used to regular sex, and certainly not to tender oral, I could tell Bella was soon to orgasm. Her hips began to buck and I heard a soft cry. I intensified the pressure on her clitoris and her legs and arms pulled against the silken scarves. My mouth rode the tiger as her pelvis shuddered to the sensation.
Then Bella settled into a peaceful state and I turned my body upwards. As I knelt above her beautiful face she parted her lips. My cock entered with a not too subtle push. I grabbed her by the hair, and pulling her head up, I vigorously began to face fuck her. Harder and harder. Faster and faster. The spit cascaded out of her lips as I began to get wilder. Quickly I neared my own ultimatum. I grunted fiercely as I pulled out of her mouth. Pumping my cock quickly with my right hand … once … twice… three times … I frantically spurted over her visage and coated her forehead, nose and open mouth.
She opened her deep brown eyes and looked up at me. “Thank you Baby” she whispered.
It’s breaking my heart. She is so sad right now. Withdrawing from the world. A world she loves and is so in touch with. With all the changes she has recently made and gone through, she should be floating on a blossom-fragrant zephyr. But she is not. Instead, the positive changes in her life have left her bereft. A void inside she cannot fill. A direction she has wanted for so long that leaves her empty. And I can’t seem to help her.
This hurts me, too.
The sun was quite hot for mid June where the convention had taken place. But I reveled in it as I headed out the hotel lobby’s entrance. Down the quiet road I went, easing into it as I felt my muscles begin to loosen and my head to further clear. I picked up the pace as the road to the hotel met the main 2-lane highway. At the intersection I turned north and stayed on the pavement, as despite being a highway, it was deserted of traffic.It was going to be a good workout. The rolling hills I saw up ahead were sure going to drain last night’s alcohol out of my system. After about 3/4 of a mile of slowly increasing the pace I bore down and picked it up a significant notch hitting a good tempo pace. The sweat was beginning to cascade off my face and I could feel every part of my body adjusting to the quickening rhythm.
Up in the distance I could see a few houses coming into view at the top of a rise. I was getting close to the village. I was looking forward to getting there and maybe grabbing a drink. Behind me I could hear what sounded like a sporty-type car approaching … fast. I could hear the driver gearing down as it slowed and then pulled off to the shoulder on the other side of the road. Out from the driver’s seat popped a smiling Annie! God she looked so hot!
“I thought I would come out and see if you needed a drink” she said as she held out a cool water bottle.
“Yes, thank you, I would” I gasped as I took the bottle. We chatted for a bit and then she offered to drive into the village and give me a mini tour.
“Sure” I said. “Sounds like fun”. I couldn’t believe my luck. This very cute woman with such a fabulous, sexy accent was trying to hustle me. What could be better?
After the tour and a little more chit chat she drove me back to the spot where she had met me.
“I’ll drive you back to the hotel, if you’d like,” she offered.
“No, no thank you. I’d better finish my run. I need it”.
We sat there awkwardly for several seconds. Neither venturing to take the next step.
Then, Annie pounced. “How would you like a tour of the city this evening? No one knows it like a local. I will show you all the sights.” I could see her dark brown eyes sparkle when she said this. And did her nipples just harden? Or were they they always like that and I just hadn’t noticed? Nope. I would have definitely noticed.
“That’s a wonderful idea. I accept. Under one condition.”
“What’s that?” she asked raising her right eyebrow.
“That you let me buy you dinner first. And you choose where.”
“It’ a deal” she replied. “I’ll pick you up in the lobby at 7”.
With that she and her beautiful nipples jumped back into the roadster and roared off. Leaving a very happy road runner in her wake. I was developing a semi.
Bella was away all this week. And we didn’t communicate at all. I don’t think once directly. Which is very strange for us. We usually email or chat 5 or 6 times a day.
I just didn’t feel like it. I don’t even know why. Because I certainly missed her. I missed her quite a bit, actually. And since she’s gotten home late this afternoon, we have communicated several times.
She missed me, too.
She will be a priority this week.
It will, of course, devastate New Boy when it happens. He believes, and has you convinced, that he accepts this way you are. Since he won’t have to face it for who knows how long, it will just slide below the surface. Never spoken of. Something from the past. You say those needs are now nonexistent. But nobody is fooling anybody.
When you tell Old Boy he is going to be so upset. But he will try to hide it. Your smile and a warm hug will help a bit. He’ll say how happy he is for you and wish you well. And then go away and silently cry. You say Past Boy is happy for you too, and it has given him hope. None of that is true, but I suspect he understands you, and will just bite his tongue and continue to be patient. I don’t know if you plan on telling Young Buck, but if you do I imagine he’ll just shrug his shoulders and nod. He’s been through it at least twice before. While he can never have enough of you, he’s just happy that he gets any. He knows you’ll be back. He knows this part of you.
You made me chuckle when I asked about Forever Boy. You get so defensive when I push your hot buttons. You don’t hide it very well. I get as much from what you don’t say as what you do.
But what is really telling is you actually believe what you told me. For the most part. That’s the thing that took me so long to adjust to. The total conviction you have right up to the reversal. And you are always so convincing and demand the utmost faith. That’s what set us off a year ago. I hadn’t understood it fully.
We’ll see if New Boy can handle it. It will be especially tough since he possesses you like no other has. He may think he is prepared, but time and the stratospheric highs will lull his defenses and inflate his ego. Deep down he trusts you when you say it won’t happen. But it will.
It won’t be pretty.
I like that you want me to help you choose your new vibrators. And I love that you asked me to send a picture of the nipple clamps you should buy. Next we need to decide on your anal plugs.
But more than anything I like that you want to please. And want to share. With me.
It was so good seeing you on your phone’s cam the other night. Even though your family was around so we had to be careful.
But it just reminded me of when. When will I see you in front of me. When will you strip as I sit in the chair and watch? When will I have you on all fours on the bed as I push your head down and run my hands all over your body, feel you tremble beneath my hand and quiver at my words? When will you put your hands behind your back and have me put on the cuffs you love so much? When will I push the plug into your awaiting ass to prepare you? When will I spank your firm ass?
Soon I think!
You know I am so much better once I understand. Understanding is everything for me.
I finally put all the pieces together. Perhaps they fit too well. My overthinking and all. The secret you kept from even me. Why we were never going to complete. I didn’t understand that. Why you could never make a commitment to me. I was never able to think it all through. Until now. Here I was thinking you would commit to others, and not me. Yet I knew you loved me.
I know at times you thought you could, but you were always fighting it, and deep down you didn’t want to. You well knew what I wanted from you. What I needed. The others had no such need. You couldn’t let go of that final cord to him. It was the only direct connection that remained in your heart. It was your secret, and I hadn’t fathomed it.
I comprehend now why this year was different. Why more tears over the roses. That confused me. I knew it had nothing to do with me. But what, then?
It had only come out with him. You didn’t want to reveal that. It was a loss of control and that’s why the story was never finished. But now you had decided to sever that last unique linkage. Just not with me. I always knew you needed it. It was deeply buried within your soul and I sensed it from the beginning. As we grew closer I felt it even more. Every time we squabbled and you came back even closer, it was reinforced. With the right man it would come out. You would blossom. I had hoped I would be that man. But it is another. That is less important than you. You are taking an important step in your recovery and I love that you have. You will be better because it is your missing piece. And finally you are adding it.The puzzle is done. Paradoxically it is liberating, part of the freedom you so long to have.