Cryptic Logrolling

I’ve thought about things a lot. Rolled it over in my mind a thousand, hell! maybe a million times. Like a lumberjack rolling on a log on the river. Trying to stay on top. How I got it wrong. So so wrong.

How I underestimated. Always the greatest danger, isn’t it?

I thought I knew you pretty well.  The mental abuse. The uncaring. The need for loving and respect. The craving for sexual variety. Being appreciated as a highly sensual being.

Oh I got that right for sure. Aced that target.

I was pretty good there balancing on that log. No matter how fast it rolled. For a while. You certainly were good at keeping me off balance. Testing me the whole time. And I thought I was testing you!

What I didn’t pay enough attention to was your comfort level with stability. And loyalty. And being true and “good”. I never thought those aspects would overrule everything else.

The water was pretty damned cold when I fell off and hit it.

Btw, I could be doing better.

I Can Remember Istanbul … Conclusion

Turkey (and Istanbul) have been often in the news of late. Each mention brings back some strong memories for me. Memories that had been, if not forgotten, deeply archived. This is the conclusion to part 1 which you can find here.

After 15 or 20 minutes we began to stir. We were hungry. And we wanted to explore a little while there was still light.

We exited our dump of a hotel into the the cacophony of the busy street. Automobiles, taxis, trucks, motorcycles, vendors and hawkers with bicycle carts, and dolmuses  everywhere. And pedestrians overcrowding the narrow sidewalks onto the streets.

We had an idea of our direction … we wanted to experience the famous Puddin’ Shop and so meandered through roundabout streets to wend our way there. It was a bit of a disappointment if I remember correctly. Mostly filled with Western wanderers like ourselves, it was hot and overcrowded. The famous bulletin board was difficult to approach. We ate … the soup we had and the honeyed dessert we gobbled were delicious I recall.

Curiosity and hunger sated we began our stroll back to the hotel with a bit of light sightseeing on the way. It was mid afternoon as we walked into the cramped, dusty hotel entrance. We nodded to the desk clerk as we headed up the two flights of stairs to our floor.

As we approached our hotel room door we knew something wasn’t right. The door was slightly ajar! I pushed it fully open … the flimsy lock had been smashed … clothes were strewn about, kits opened, the room trashed.

We looked at each other aghast. Who the hell would want to rob us? There certainly was nothing of value to steal from us, apart from our down sleeping bags. Travel experienced, we, of course, had left no valuables in the room. We carried our passports, cash, and traveller’s cheques, and small camera on us. Unquestionably, our would be robbers had come to the same conclusion.

But I was enraged! This dump of a hotel was small, and nothing like this could happen without notice being taken. I flung myself down the stairway to the front desk. The clerk looked up at me, nonchalantly.

“Yes?” he asked.

I ranted on about the break-in … how it could not happen without someone hearing … what had he seen or heard … who was responsible for this …

He looked at me blankly, nodding his head slowly very occasionally. My fury deepened at the lack of response. Further infuriating was the fact that my rage coupled with my size didn’t faze him in the least. I didn’t intimidate him at all. Clearly he was experienced with this sort of thing. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders and turned away. My angry, frustrated lizard-brain wanted to grab him and shake him out of his inertia. Fortunately, my intelligent side restrained me. I stepped back from the counter and calmed myself.

I hurriedly flew back up the stairs to our room. By this time she had repacked much of our gear into our packs.

“We’re leaving” I said.

“What happened down there? What did the clerk say?”

“Absolutely nothing!” I stammered. “He just shrugged it off.”

“Yes, lets go” she said. “The door’s lock is broken and there’s no way I’m ever going to sleep here.”

After scooping up the last few items remaining, we shouldered our packs and marched out. Across the small square and a few narrow streets over, we checked into another hotel we had previously seen. Though 50% more expensive than the “dump”, it was miles above in class and we hoped, safety.

In the room we put down our packs. Then I hugged her. Tightly. This woman meant more to me at that point in time than any other person in the world.

I undressed her. I guided her to the bed, on all fours. Then I undressed. Her pussy was sopping wet. My cock was rock hard. Fear and tension, excitement and celebration … all had always made us crave each other’s bodies like ravenous fiends. This was no exception.

Wild, connected, deep.

It was probably the final time we ever were so close.

 

 

Lament For A Friend – Red Sky In The Morning

Video

large_lament1I didn’t sleep well last night. My aches and pains kept me tossing and turning. Pushing too hard again. And for some reason, Matt, I couldn’t stop thinking of you. All those times we have shared.

Wisdom is not the result of losing something you had. That is but simple regret. Rather wisdom derives from the knowledge and appreciation of what you do have and know someday you will lose.

I have my health. Yours creeps away from you every day, a silent seepage you do not know or realize. How foreign that would be for you if you knew … you, who never did things in increments. You always charged in a massive frontal assault.

The interesting thing I understood is I can isolate when you were at your very prime. No, not those high school days, nor even when you were king of the hill in college. We were what?, in our late 20s when I visited you on the Island Paradise? There you were on top of the world, too. More than the world was your oyster; you were the biggest rooster in the henyard. How you juggled the women!

I marveled how you kept your two not only from cutting each other’s throat, but you actually made them happy. It couldn’t have been easy. But you were always the master politician, playing bravado off of guilt and feigned humility.

How you owned that town. The bars we graced in our light, slim suits and Panama hats! Every night until 5am. There still is no one I’ve met who can out drink you. And then you’d go to work for 9. I at least could sleep until noon before heading to the beach.

And oh, every evening in the bar where you were “Honorary Owner”!  Do you remember how the Entertainer and I were the only ones who had even heard of Jimmy Buffet back then? That was when I knew stuff.  But I was good in that Jimmy set I did with the Entertainer, wasn’t I? At least Maggie thought so …

Maggie.  Yep, I’m sighing. A more perfect goddess I have never ever encountered. How her athletic figure fit so comfortably around my engorged erection as she sat on my lap in the bar all those nights! Her soft kisses smothered me in sensuality as my hands groped wherever the temptation led. And you know, Matt, how Temptation and I have always been the best and fastest friends. We never go anywhere without each other. Even today. Such a pity that her live-in was around that much and managed to interrupt and discover us at so many inopportune times.

That was a magic time for you. I only hope you will always remember it. And I wish I were able to bring back some of that magic. I so wish Robert were still here. He could always make you laugh and took good care of you. He’d be there for you now; he would know how to handle everything. Unlike me. Who feels helpless, useless. Another of my miserable fatal failings come to the fore.

Yes, of course, life was simpler then. But were our castles really made out of such baseless sand? God, I wish I knew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCyQCNojpQI

At Times My Women Reflect Sadness

Yesterday was not a particularly happy day with the women in Martyland.

  1. I had one of my favorites return home far from my time zone. I enjoyed her being near.
  2. I said a sad, but firm goodbye to another. It was time.
  3. I was less then utterly kind with one. That patience thing.
  4. One of my loves was distraught due to a family member’s sickness.
  5. A woman I treasure has her own serious health issues. Though she will be fine, I lament her illness.
  6. Another favorite had a parent pass.

A time for reflection.